Where do our responses come from? The child comes back from school, the mother says,’ You had real fun at school na!’ and Father says,’ You must be so tired… so many hours at school … hands and legs must be paining’.
Objective to connect with the child and the response is so different. One response may give a message to the child that school should be fun (but in reality he is not feeling that way), the second response ‘I should be tired… I have worked a lot’.
The parent would not have even thought that with such statements many messages are going to the child 🙂
The response we give to the child is coming from our own beliefs and feelings 🙂
How can we give a balanced response to our child and not pass on our thoughts to him/her.
How about: You are in school for more hours than before.. you may enjoy some part of it and not enjoy some part of it. It is allright to feel that way… you can come and tell me about it.
This will help the child to rely on his experiences and get freedom to express his feelings, thus helping him to take ownership for his responses. This would also help him to look for possibilities to work with them.