Parenting Workshop @ Lumino Stars J.P.Nagar 7th Phase

Magichive conducted a parenting workshop at Lumino Stars International Pre-school on 27th July.

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Some of the feedback:
“Was informative and good”
“I learnt something from the session, because I used to face the problems discussed in this session. Thanks a lot.”
“Very good and very interactive”
“It was very informative and interactive.Lot of new inputs which will help us to implement in day to day life”

There are no problems…

Do we have problems in our lives? Most of us will say a big ‘Yes’. Actually, there are no problems, they are only opportunities to do something in a different way or learn more from it.
Our brain works differently when we see an experience as an opportunity. It opens up loads of possibilities and options for us.
The child is crying : An opportunity for me to connect with the child, an opportunity for the child to learn to express his feelings.
The child remembers the homework in the last minute: An opportunity for the child to understand about natural consequences and problem solve.
Look at situations and opportunities instead of looking for problems.

Choice of words…

Choice of using ‘and’ instead of ‘but’

Our words are very powerful. The words we use are reflective of our unconscious choices (whether we like them or not).

So when we use the word “but” it can be limiting our opportunities to succeed and be happy in life.

“I love my child, but I don’t like it when he does not listen to me.”

“I love my job, but I wish I had more money.”

”This is interesting, but I don’t think it will work”

The examples can go on forever. Unconsciously, the word “but” creates a separation between the two things we’re talking about.

In the examples above, It can lead us to unconsciously self-sabotage our efforts at success and happiness. Maybe not in huge ways, but at least in little ways.

We may not not even understand why we feel frustrated or “slightly agitated.” This is the nature of feeling separate from things. It causes disharmony.

That’s why whenever possible, it would be useful to use the word “and” to bridge things. For example:

“I love him AND look forward to connecting with him in different ways to understand what he is thinking.”

“I love my job AND am making empowering choices to create more financial abundance in my life.”

Simply by using the word “and” literally orients the brain towards POSSIBILITY. Towards OPPORTUNITY.

Everything that follows “and” in those sentences orients towards positive empowered thinking.

“But” is a word that, by its very nature, is limiting. “But” actually orients our brains towards scarcity, limitation, and maybe even fear.

“And” by its very nature is expanding and inclusive.

From now on, whenever you find yourself about to use the word “but” pause for a moment and ask yourself a simple question:

“What other words express my thoughts or feelings more positively?”

Chances are, you’ll be able to find an “and” in there somewhere.

We can make the choice of using ‘and’ and ‘but’ in our communication. We use ‘but’ only when necessary 🙂

Parent shares…

Rashmi Rao : Something I thought I should share……. Day before yesterday my son went into a panic mode, not finding his social class work book. It was almost 9 at night, he seemed so scared and lost. He was searching and throwing things in every corner of the house. As he expressed he had 2 concerns, 1- his book is missing & his home work is not complete. 2- he had to rewrite his entire book , almost 15-16 pages. I really kept my cool, did not scold for the mess he was making. Instead, I sat and spoke to him about how he felt. There was tears in his eyes & he hugged me saying “he was not sure what to do next”. I was so tempted to give solutions and offer help…but held on. Just kept on discussing what we could do. He came up on his own
1-he will go & check with his friends , if some one has found his book
2-he wanted me to write a note in the diary, in case he did not find his book
3-he took an extra-new book, he said ,if he did not find the book he would have to start copying.So he wanted to start at the earliest.

Although I was not ok writing the note, I rather wanted him to express to his teacher on his own. I wrote a note , but did not add an excuse note in it.

He looked really fine after this and went off to sleep peacefully.

I felt good, I usually scold him, or take his anxieties in a very light way or offer solutions. I managed to do none of these.

Feelings acknowledged..

Shared by a parent: Mathangi Rajasekaran

My parents went to school yesterday to pick up Jayanth instead of me. He was angry about that. I did not utter a word. Showed him this picture, He identified his feeling and then kissed me. I was so happy. No arguments, no convincing , no talking at all.
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Mistakes are great….

What do we do when our children make mistakes? We keep telling them not to make mistakes. As parents we want our children to be safe and do well. Is it possible to live without making mistakes. Let’s look back and check out our mistakes. Did we learn anything from them or did we just learn that we should not make mistakes. Do we fear making mistakes?

If we do then maybe, we are working from a belief that ‘If I fail or make a mistake, I am not good enough’. Do we want our children to have this fear? No!

Let us accept their mistakes, allow them to learn from their experiences. We can be there to support them by giving information and being part of their decision making but not make the decisions for them. Look at them as capable individuals who will bounce back, take some learning from their experience and move ahead.

 

FREE introductory talk on Chetana – the “parenting workshop” on 23rd June (Sunday)@10AM at Magichive


ParentingWorkshopCHETANA’ – PARENTING WORKSHOP starting on 20th June/29th June (Weekday/Weekend) It is not about children, it is about US

Gift yourself this year ‘new perspectives’ and help raise an ‘Empowered Child’

Before you became a parent, you probably had visions of how straight-forward it would be to find the right ways to raise your kids to reach their highest potential.

How you would have a deep, loving connection with your children so that they were comfortable confiding in you with their biggest problems. And how you would always “just know” the perfect thing to say and the perfect time.

Fast forward to now when you are a parent. Are you living out those dreams of how you thought parenthood would be? Or are you tired, stressed out, and doubting your ability to be the parent you once imagined you’d be?

  • Are you your own worst critic when it comes judging how well you are doing as a parent, often feeling guilty about something you’ve said or done?
  • Are you constantly worried about your kids, often fearing the worst possible outcome?
  • Do you feel that by virtue of being a parent, you should just know the best way to support your kids (and yet you have a lot of self-doubt when it comes to your parenting)?

If you’ve said “yes” to even one of these feelings, you’re not alone. These are some of the most common feelings parents have, and yet when you allow fear, guilt, worry, self-criticism and doubt to take control, you lose your parenting power and set yourself and your kids up for living out negative self-fulfilling prophecies.

Join us in the parenting journey and reap the benefits of :

  • Learn to understand yourself and how powerful you can be
  • Improve your communication skills for a better relationship with your children
  • Understand the views, needs, and desires of your children.
  • Managing your children emotional and behavioral concerns.
  • Facilitate the growth of an independent, empowered child.

When you discover your hidden power within, you will more fully step into being the parent you want to be and that your kids deserve, and they will flourish as a result.

10 SESSIONS WORKSHOP

Weekday Sessions starting from 20th June (Thursday) : 10AM to 12PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays/ Weekend Workshop starting from 29th June (Saturday) : 3PM to 5PM on Saturdays/Sundays (timings are subject to change esp for weekend sessions)

Investment : Rs 4000 per participant

Limited Registrations. Call : 65706371 or walk in and meet Subha Parthasarathy (facilitator) @ MagicHive.
E-Mail : subha@magichive.in / (m) 9342133490

 

‘I can’..

Exploring Wednesdays’ saw children make their own sandwich. The objective of the activity was to make children aware that there may be things which they can do and they make not know it, also it is allright to take help from others when we are learning something new.
Children were supposed to make sandwich. Some children said they can, some said they can’t and some said they can with help.They were give three strips to choose from. Pink : can do with help, Yellow : can do , white : cannot.
Children picked up the strips according to what they felt at that point of time.
They were given bread, butter and jam
Children made their own sandwiches and some children changed their strips for a different color as they became aware that they could make a sandwich. Each sandwich was different and they enjoyed eating what they made for themselves.

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Our Responses..

Where do our responses come from? The child comes back from school, the mother says,’ You had real fun at school na!’ and Father says,’ You must be so tired… so many hours at school … hands and legs must be paining’.
Objective to connect with the child and the response is so different. One response may give a message to the child that school should be fun (but in reality he is not feeling that way), the second response ‘I should be tired… I have worked a lot’.
The parent would not have even thought that with such statements many messages are going to the child 🙂
The response we give to the child is coming from our own beliefs and feelings 🙂
How can we give a balanced response to our child and not pass on our thoughts to him/her.

How about: You are in school for more hours than before.. you may enjoy some part of it and not enjoy some part of it. It is allright to feel that way… you can come and tell me about it.

This will help the child to rely on his experiences and get freedom to express his feelings, thus helping him to take ownership for his responses. This would also help him to look for possibilities to work with them.